I flew to Chicago earlier this week. Every time I fly, I think I’ve seen it all…but no. Let’s take a look back at the best (and by best, I really mean worst) sightings while traveling…I haven’t had a good rant/ramble for quite a while.
5. The Wannabe Tigger
On our way to Jamaica, I think, I dissolved into bits of hysterically inappropriate laughter when I observed the shoes of the woman who sat in front of me. Worse, it was one of those exit seats where there wasn’t a seat in front of me, so not only did I see them, I stared at them the entire flight. I may have also tried to snap a photo until my husband told me to stop giggling. These shoes, folks, these shoes… they had 3 inch SPRINGS on the heels. And they were attached to like the Nike scrappy sandals from the 1990’s. I’m bounce bounce bouncing like a Tiggggerrrrr!
4. The Pirate
We weren’t in Pittsburgh, either. I think it was Charlotte, but we came across a woman that was full on dressed as a pirate. She had the pirate hat with skull and crossbones, an eye patch, and raggedy-looking clothing that would have made a true pirate (well, at least those of the 1800’s) proud. The thing was, those accidental looking holes in her skirt and shirt were a little too well manicured, and she carried a very nice purse, too. Did she lose a bet after a round of tequila shots at a bachelorette party? I’ll never know. Maybe I’m just jealous cause I always wanted to be a pirate (the old-type pirate, not the new Somali-type pirates, just for clarification).
3. The Germaphobe
Since I’m a germaphobe to some extent, one of my favorite people of all time was a woman who so carefully put on rubber gloves to touch the TSA bins to go through security (probably not a bad idea, in general, though I don’t do it). She snaps one on before she grabs a bin, then carefully places each item she owns (e.g., her laptop) into the bin with the other hand. She then puts on the second glove before grabbing the bin with both hands and placing it on to the belt. Before you think, “well, maybe she has a medical condition”… after clearing the body scanner, she goes and picks up her bin, puts all her belongings back inside (both gloves still on), then blows her nose and continues wiping her face with her gloved hands.
2. The Michelin Man?
Was he traveling without a suitcase? I’ll never know. But what I do know is that he had at least 4 pairs of pants on. Tights, long-johns, jeans, windpants. In that order. Plus at least 6 shirts. He peeled off a few layers while on board (a bit stuffy for such aggressive layering, I presume), and you could readily see the other layers bunched up uncomfortably below. Perhaps the real question should be… did he steal a suitcase? It was just utterly a bizarre sight, and I can’t believe he didn’t notice everyone staring at him.
1. The Family of Fakers
This one legitimately pisses me off (ps…hey MS edge: I’m giving you a shot, don’t mess it up by correcting my inappropriate language to something appropriate 6 times before you accept that I actually want to say pissed). We saw a family who got a wheel chair at National (DCA) with the sole purpose of making it through a hellacious security line that day. At first, there was a older man in the chair. Fine, not suspicious at all. Suddenly, we look over and there was a 6 year old. Then the 10 year old sister. Then a full on PUBLIC CONVO about using the wheelchair to get through security and an argument over who should be in the wheelchair at the TSA checkpoint.
What have you seen while flying?